Post-Wedding Blues

I believe I've experienced what Susan Devries calls "The Princess Crisis." I've been reading The Most Important Year in a Woman's Life, and this particular insight into newlywed life strikes a chord in me:

A princess is beautiful, fun to be with, romantic, on a quest to win the affection of a charming prince, and surrounded by others who attend to her wants and needs. But after the wedding day, a bride often ceases to see herself as a princess--feeling more like the duty-bound queen--and when the princess becomes the queen, the real work begins.

I would add that, as a bride, I felt surrounded by others willing to help, or at least interested and emphatically curious about my wedding plans. And perhaps the most jarring part of this "crisis" has been, for me, the sudden disconnect from the people who helped me achieve that bridal dream, and made me feel like a princess bride. I miss their kindly advice, thoughts and well-wishes, their example, and their teasing if they could see me blunder through folding the overflowing basket of laundry at my feet! (Have I mentioned that even "kings" have their fair share of stinky socks?)

I do miss the bridal magazines, the bridal shows, the wedding ads in my mailbox, all the dreaming, the planning...the putting together of the most delightful puzzle of my life, where each piece slid into place with a satisfying sense of contentment. The resulting picture was far more perfect than I could've imagined! And the bittersweetness of the puzzle is that I will never do it again. And even if I were to plan another "wedding" (for my own children, for example), it will never have that same wonder of seeing my own dream wedding turn into reality.

So what's my new puzzle? I suppose it's this new life my groom and I have been carefully putting together, piece by piece. It's setting up house together, figuring out closet space, and sharing bowls of cereal in the morning before he leaves for work. It's the colorful primroses I planted in a hanging pot outside on our balcony. It's the walks after church on the sunny days, and the reading in coffee shops on the rainy ones. This puzzle is infinitely more complex and challenging than the wedding puzzle! And I think it's become my solution to the "princess crisis." I will always be my husband's princess bride, and he will be my prince and hero; not just for a single day of wedding celebration, but for the rest of our days! While we may carry the label of "romantic newlyweds" for awhile, we will be "romantic puzzle-makers" for life.