The Inn

I can't wrap my head around this blessing. There is room for us, this Christmas. We moved into our new house only a few days ago, exactly a week before Christmas. In a mad flurry of boxes, bags, and willing hands to move us, I lost it. It was too much! Too much space. Too much stuff. Too much farther from the east coast I'd secretly (or perhaps openly) dreamed of returning to before babies. In that breakdown moment, standing in our now emptied kitchen at our first apartment, my husband held me. He stroked my hair and told me it would all work out. That we'd make it home. That God's presence there, with us, would make our house a home. We could rejoice in the room God provided for us.

I didn't realize it until now, a few days later when things begin to settle and the kitchen is in enough order to make a decent meal. There is room here. I'm not just talking about the extra space, and there's certainly quite of bit of clutter we need to deal with. I mean there is room for Christ here, in our home and family. It's something we talked about early on, as our house-search began. We greatly desired a home, not just because of the convenience or ability to modify it as we wished, but most especially because of how God could use us in a home. We and others have prayed over and over that this house would be filled with the Holy Spirit's presence, that whoever enters our doors would feel His Love, Peace, and Presence here.

We desire that this house will be a meeting place, a sanctuary, a place to worship God, a haven for all who seek it. We desire JOY and PEACE to burst from the every corner. And I'm so grateful for how faithful God has been to us in this time of transition. He provided for us, just as He has been doing since the beginning of time. His greatest gift, the sending of His Son to be born into human flesh, is true provision for us. He provided us with payment for our sins and an eternal, heavenly home with Him! Let there be room for the Christ child in our hearts and homes this Christmas and every day of our lives.

I can't do this without Him. I've felt the weight of responsibility and adulthood in purchasing our first home. I've been struggling with releasing expectations for our first Christmas together. And on top of all that, I'm trying to prepare my heart and keep the right focus in Advent. I feel like I can honestly say that there is room here now, in my heart and in this home. Not by my own strength or even by all the gracious efforts of my husband, family and friends who helped us move and challenge me to run after Christ daily. But only by His grace and provision.

The image of the Inns of Bethlehem keeps running through my head--all shut up tight with no room for Mary, Joseph and soon-to-be-born Jesus. It's a powerful image reflecting the sad state of my heart far too often. Christmas is a time of opening up--symbolized in the way we open our homes to others, open our purses in giving generously, and open presents in gratitude. In the truest sense, for me, it's a time of opening up my heart. I'm convicted of the times I've slammed the doors shut in the face of a stranger and friend alike. I'm grateful for Advent reminders, to repent and come humbly to the manager, the dank, dingy stable where God became a child among us. I want there to always be room in this "inn" of my heart, and this "inn" of our home (which we hope to fill with guests in the future). THANK YOU, LORD! You are WELCOME here, Jesus!