Renaissance Woman or Dilettante?

It's the story of my life--too many interests, too many "favorites," and none of them seem to fit together. Throughout my life, I've "seriously considered" (as serious as a youth can be about these things) living in Australia, China, England, Ireland, New Zealand, Hawaii, Alaska, or Florida. My favorite colors are blue, green, brown, and sometimes purple. In terms of fashion, I don't think my style fits anywhere--"I like what I like" was my eloquent response when my mom tried to suggest what my style might be (now you can see why I didn't get far in my modeling career). My hobbies have included being a musher, fisherwoman, Irish dancer, actor, photographer, archer, artist, and writer...mind boggled yet? Mine too!

When I was about 9 or 10, I remember lying awake one night, feeling torn over all my "favorite" cultures. At the time, I was going through an Asian kick, wondering why on earth we weren't at least a tiny bit Chinese. BUT, I already loved Native American stuff (one thirty-second Blackfoot, baby! I hung on to that!) and was discovering our Irish heritage (it was around the time I began Irish step dancing). Of course, I always loved huskies and dog sledding, so throw a little Eskimo in the mix. Plus, I really loved India as a child, because of my early discovery of elephants and all those beautiful, colorful saris. Oh, and Africa! It has elephants too! See my dilemma? Since then, I've accepted that I'll never be Chinese, Eskimo, Indian, or African. *sigh* But I still jump at chances to learn about or experience them more.

It's the same with music. I dread the question "What kind of music do you like?" I usually have to pick one on the fly, but my music collection is a messy melting pot. On any given day, I may listen to Celtic, Indie, instrumental (movie scores make up a huge part of this), contemporary Christian, world, pop, Christmas, AND Disney music. Seriously, I think I give my MP3 player whiplash. Why do I have to narrow it down? This way, I can pick whatever suits my mood. Need some extra encouragement? Contemporary Christian it is! Feeling bubbly? Disney songs are always a nice pick-me-up or a keep-me-up. Variety is the spice of life!

And forget books! I've devoured books in every genre and can't really tag a favorite. I suppose fantasy literature has the longest track record, but I can't really name any contemporary authors for you...in fact, I'm horrible at remembering author names, book titles, and plots in general...so don't ask me for recommendations, or you'll get what I myself am reading at the time (because I'll have seen the cover enough to retain that info for at least a month). However, I can recall that I did, once upon a time, read that book you mentioned, and possibly remember whether or not I liked it. (This makes me a novelty among my fellow English-degree holders and copy editors.)  It's often about impressions for me--I've loved many stories that seemed to come at opportune times in my life, or that touched me deeply. So, no hard and fast "favorites" in the book category.

See a pattern?

My freshman year of college, I discovered the word dilettante--defined by Webster's as "a person having a superficial interest in an art or a branch of knowledge," synonymous with "dabbler" and "amateur." With horror, I thought I'd found the word to describe me in my countless interests. Only a few months before, my college interviewer had tagged me "a Renaissance woman" for having been involved in so many activities and pursuits. I clung to her description, thinking this was the phrase which accurately described me. And in one fateful vocabulary lesson, this "Renaissance woman" was reduced to an unaccomplished dilettante, never going beyond a superficial knowledge of the things I thought I loved.

I never made it to Open Championship in Irish dance. Mushing never want farther than a few runs on trails through the woods with my two huskies (what happened to that dream of racing in the Iditarod?). I've never competed in an archery competition, much to the chagrin of my instructors who told me I had potential. I quit art lessons after only a few years. I gave up on fishing for awhile after I reached the age limit for "free fishing" (it's hard for a teenager to cough up $30 for a license!). I never pursued a leading role in any stage production. I didn't excel in my photography class in college and I still can't figure out how to use my SLR camera. The only writing I've ever had published was a poem in a local poetry magazine--I don't count that one non-fiction story in our college literary magazine.

Renaissance woman or dilettante?

But the more I think on it, the more I realize those things aren't failures. I can't be perfect at everything. I can't even be perfect at one thing! None of those activities or interests were wasted time. They shaped me and brought me among some interesting people. I still enjoy ALL of those things to some degree--even if it's just the memories! However, sometimes I wish more of my interests fit together--ever tried Irish dancing while firing a bow...from the runners of a dogsled?! So far the arts (writing, photography, art/design) have been the only things that can somewhat touch each subject.

Now I'll reveal what prompted this rant. The other day I stumbled across an article about the potential for Disney to obtain the rights to Tolkien's work, with the intent of incorporating it into a theme park. Being a fan of Disney (fostering imagination, discovery, and child-likeness) AND Tolkien (his epic scope and transcendent themes), I wasn't sure what to think of this. A part of me would love to see what Disney came up with and would enjoy visiting another "incarnation" of Middle Earth. Another part of me is a purist, who's afraid they'll butcher everything I love about Middle Earth or "cheapen" it in some way.

Then the writer pulled up a quote from one of Tolkien's letters, that said he would "veto anything from or influenced by the Disney Studios (for all whose works I have a heartfelt loathing)." My heart sank a little. I don't know why I thought Tolkien, in all his deep, philosophical British-ness, would've approved of the spectacle and seemingly simplistic themes of Disney. I guess I didn't think he would ever comment on it! And that was fine by me! I didn't need his approval. But knowing how much he loathed it felt a little like a direct attack on my sensibilities. Of course Tolkien would've objected to his work becoming a theme park...heck, he probably would've objected to the movies too! (And I really loved those!)

So I think what really struck me was the idea that my favorites could be so opposed to one another. I've always known they're very different--as different as Irish dancing is from mushing! What does my liking them both say about me? Does it mean I'm being manipulated by popular culture? (I don't exactly feel as if Disney was forced down my throat.) Does having such varied interests mean I was any less dedicated to one or the other? Or that I'm a wishy-washy person? Tolkien may have thought so. I probably would've been much too "much" for him. (For the record, I think Disneyland would've catered to hobbits and Elves a like--food, song, storytelling, and some thrills mixed in for any adventure-seeking Took or Baggins. Poor Tolkien never had a chance to experience the potential for himself.)

Thank the Lord I married a man who's just as varied as I am! We laugh about how we're glad no one pulled out the "How Well Do You Know Your Bride/Groom" game at our wedding/shower, because we probably would've failed (not because we don't KNOW each other, but because a lot of those questions seem to dwell on "favorites"). I've asked him several times what his favorite candy or candy bar is...and his answer has been different every time. The only "favorite foods" he knows he can count on for me is Near East rice pilaf (yes, that brand particularly), ice cream, and chocolate. The rest changes almost daily, as I suffer from food cravings and aversions even without being pregnant. Isn't that fun? I think unpredictability can be rather nice sometimes!

And all this has led me to reflect on all the unique, albeit strange, things I've done or continue to enjoy in life. It makes me more me than if I had followed one particular thread. If I'd been a strict Disney fan and read/watched nothing else, I would've never discovered Tolkien or Lewis! If I'd been a professional musher, I'd probably be living in Alaska with my 85 dogs, without having met my husband in a small Pennsylvanian college! If I'd made it to Open Championship in Irish dance...I'd probably have had several knee replacements by now!

As it is, I have all these experiences to draw on. It's why I have a little husky figurine on my desk at work. Why it stands right next to a carved elephant my parents brought back from Africa, which sits under my favorite photo from our last Disney World vacation! I can even pick a purple or brown ball at mini golf when someone else picks blue or green! Blessed variety!

Let's see, what other "favorites" do I have that don't really follow a set pattern?

Pancakes

Balloons

Palm trees

Lilies

Butterflies

Coconut-scented things

Baking
...
...
...

The list goes on..."ever on and on." (Thanks for that, Professor Tolkien.)