The funny thing is, I happened to have this conversation before my husband proposed. After we were engaged, and started throwing around the idea of getting married in January, I was stunned to find that January 22nd happened to fall on a Saturday. We kept an open mind, and discussed potential dates with our reception venue. The 22nd happened to be the perfect match, one of few free evenings, no other events, and all the winter themed decorations would remain up at the inn. From that moment on, January 22, 2011 was a day we longed to arrive.
I was an unusual bride, in that after the honeymoon ended, I would not be returning to the "normal" of my old life, all the people who were a part of it and the places I knew by heart. Life ceased to be normal, and my new-normal began. I'm living it now, sitting across from my level-headed husband, with his steel-blue eyes fixed on his studies and the goals ahead. I feel so unworthy sometimes, that he should still call me his bride. My temper is trying to him sometimes, and I'm certainly not the easiest person to live with. That's when he reflects Jesus to me. Tender and gentle, understanding and yet firm. Loving. He's my long-awaited groom!
It wouldn't be a Squirrel Scribe blog post without a song, would it? So here's one I found a few months ago, that would've been PERFECT for our snowflake themed wedding. Oh well. It will make a lovely first anniversary winter wonderland song. I'm grateful for this first year, full of "snowfall kind of love."
In what little time I've had to reflect on that beautiful day a year ago, looking at wedding photos and watching our video, I keep focusing on a few things. I notice the people at our wedding, some of whom I've had the pleasure of seeing again since that day, and others I haven't. I start thinking about all the moments of our wedding day and what it must have been like for our guests. We were so focused on each other, and the sacredness of that day to our new life as one, as is appropriate. But it makes me wonder and hope that it was as happy a day for them as it was for us. I love seeing them talking with one another, enjoying the food, dancing, and just seeing their faces again. I miss them.
I also find myself focused on this man who I married. It didn't seem possible at the time, but there was so much about him I had yet to learn. I see that loving look in our happy eyes as we share our first dance, our timid little laughs as we feed each other a piece of wedding cake. For some odd reason, I keep thinking about how young we look. We're only a year older. I was so in love with him then! So how is it that I feel like I've fallen in love with him over and over, more and more, every day of the past 365 we've shared as husband and wife? It's a miracle! He's a miracle.
It snowed in western Washington this week, the most snow Seattle has seen in half a century, I hear. It was beautiful and we "lived it up" by playing in the snow, going for a walk, and admiring it from the windows. It wasn't until about midweek that I stopped and realized how much this reminded me of our wedding week--watching the weather, about a foot of snow on the ground and more to come, wondering if it'd mess with our plans. It did this week. We had to rearrange our anniversary plans due to power outages, our cars got stuck, events were cancelled. It's been a wild roller-coaster ride of a week, but then again, wasn't that exactly what I was feeling a year ago? Over-the-moon about marrying my man and sick with grief over leaving my family...really leaving them, to live almost 3,000 miles away. It was a tough time, but also the best time of my life!
After all the busyness and plans leading up to January 22nd, that morning dawned to find me full of unearthly calmness. Inexplicable, beautiful, pure peace. It was like I wasn't my usual, emotionally unstable self! Jesus had taken over and led me safe into the arms of the beloved man He had made with me in mind. It was the most unusual and incredible feeling I've ever experienced, and I haven't had words to express it until today. I thought I'd be nervous out of my mind, unable to function, cranky, and an absolute mess! But I see the picture of me putting on my makeup or laughing with my parents only minutes before walking down the aisle, and I remember what it felt like. "This is my wedding day, and everything is working out fine." I shed plenty of tears that weekend, don't get me wrong. It was a bitter parting, saying goodbye to my family and dearest friends. But my prayers and hopes for our wedding were answered, with the kind of peace I'm in such desperate need of every day. God gives it when I ask for it, but I'll always remember how He seemed to increase it a hundredfold that day.
It snowed in western Washington this week, the most snow Seattle has seen in half a century, I hear. It was beautiful and we "lived it up" by playing in the snow, going for a walk, and admiring it from the windows. It wasn't until about midweek that I stopped and realized how much this reminded me of our wedding week--watching the weather, about a foot of snow on the ground and more to come, wondering if it'd mess with our plans. It did this week. We had to rearrange our anniversary plans due to power outages, our cars got stuck, events were cancelled. It's been a wild roller-coaster ride of a week, but then again, wasn't that exactly what I was feeling a year ago? Over-the-moon about marrying my man and sick with grief over leaving my family...really leaving them, to live almost 3,000 miles away. It was a tough time, but also the best time of my life!
After all the busyness and plans leading up to January 22nd, that morning dawned to find me full of unearthly calmness. Inexplicable, beautiful, pure peace. It was like I wasn't my usual, emotionally unstable self! Jesus had taken over and led me safe into the arms of the beloved man He had made with me in mind. It was the most unusual and incredible feeling I've ever experienced, and I haven't had words to express it until today. I thought I'd be nervous out of my mind, unable to function, cranky, and an absolute mess! But I see the picture of me putting on my makeup or laughing with my parents only minutes before walking down the aisle, and I remember what it felt like. "This is my wedding day, and everything is working out fine." I shed plenty of tears that weekend, don't get me wrong. It was a bitter parting, saying goodbye to my family and dearest friends. But my prayers and hopes for our wedding were answered, with the kind of peace I'm in such desperate need of every day. God gives it when I ask for it, but I'll always remember how He seemed to increase it a hundredfold that day.
I was an unusual bride, in that after the honeymoon ended, I would not be returning to the "normal" of my old life, all the people who were a part of it and the places I knew by heart. Life ceased to be normal, and my new-normal began. I'm living it now, sitting across from my level-headed husband, with his steel-blue eyes fixed on his studies and the goals ahead. I feel so unworthy sometimes, that he should still call me his bride. My temper is trying to him sometimes, and I'm certainly not the easiest person to live with. That's when he reflects Jesus to me. Tender and gentle, understanding and yet firm. Loving. He's my long-awaited groom!
It wouldn't be a Squirrel Scribe blog post without a song, would it? So here's one I found a few months ago, that would've been PERFECT for our snowflake themed wedding. Oh well. It will make a lovely first anniversary winter wonderland song. I'm grateful for this first year, full of "snowfall kind of love."
1 comment:
"Thank you Lord for my Snowflake who continues to be my comfort and joy~" XOXOXO Mommy-flake
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